It’s easy for me to spend every opportunity I get to talk to you about technology and how to improve your business with it but before you spend time and money on technology, you need to have a clear vision of where you are heading. Sometimes that means facing some hard truths about yourself and the WHY behind what you are doing in every area of your life and business. We all mess up. I do – without a doubt. What you do with that lesson is what separates those that will be successfull from those that will continue to spin their wheels. I write articles like this because I am writing them to myself first and allowing you to “look over the fence.” Tranparency and accountabiliy is tough. Read on…
How many times have you been confronted with the hard truth of where you messed up and yet, instantly you start blaming others? Accountability is tough. It means you have to admit you are less than perfect. This is a habit I have been coaching my kids on because I care. If they can learn accountability at an early age they’ll be a step ahead of where I was until a few years ago.
I couldn’t write this without “owning my own stuff” because it’s a life-long process that took me years to get in my thick skull. I can assure you that the ability to say, “I messed up”, apologize, course-correct, and move forward; can produce some great emotional rewards.
Here are five principles to follow for owning your stuff.
1) Own it quick – Don’t wait around wondering whether you should “fess-up.” You’ll greatly increase your credibility with your peers if they understand you aren’t perfect either. Whether it’s your spouse, clients, colleagues or kids, one of the quickest ways to earn respect is to admit your faults. No one likes a know-it-all or a person that thinks their “stuff” doesn’t smell.
2) Get to the point – Don’t beat around the bush. It’s bad enough to avoid accountability, but a half-hearted apology, full of excuses, is worse. Be clear, identity the issue, and what you’ve done to correct it.
3) Share the lesson – I’ve heard it said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. This step is hard, because not only do you have to take full responsibility, but you must be willing to share your lessons with a wider audience. One note of caution: Trying to be noble in wanting to help others just after you get “caught” in a mess-up could be confused with trying to avoid responsibility. This might be like the drug addict that wants to help coach others to avoid using drugs while they are still in handcuffs. Take some time to reflect before sharing.
4) Be quiet – Once you take responsibility, you are likely to get feedback from others. This criticism may be constructive or not so constructive. Regardless of the feedback you receive, resist being defensive. Remember that a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). People have a difficult time staying angry with a person that is humble and meek.
5) Embrace the future – In skiing we have a saying – “You either move into the future or fall in the past”. Skiing is a sport in motion and your whole body has to keep moving forward over your skis or you’ll end up in what we call the back seat. Soon, you’ll be off balance, picking up speed, and falling. Life isn’t much different in that you have to keep looking and moving forward. If you focus on the past you’ll lose steam. As a leader you will fail. It’s how you address those failures, bounce back and turn those tough times into triumph that will define you. Don’t kick yourself but continue to focus on what I have coined the FLOS model:
a) Fail
b) Learn your lesson
c) Offer lessons learned
d) Shine as a leader.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is thinking you will look weak by admitting your faults. Spend time each day building your character by reading books, associating with successful leaders and focusing on gratitude. Exercise, pray, and lead every day. I’ve found it easier to live when I laugh often and lead well… oh… and when I “own my stuff.”
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